New Year, New Beginnings

A couple of hours before I shot this video, I was at Church all dolled up but with a not-so-bold heart and blank mind not knowing what to ask God. Thoughts ran in my mind, 'Lord, what should I ask for?' If at all you have a promise for me, please, it better be something you will all willingly give and not take away from me. I have no more strength to forego, forget and fail.

Prepped up my mind to avoid all possibility of a detour.

I admit, 2021 was not easy for me. It began with grieving the loss of my closest friends. The kind of friends with a vision from this special group I started Lord's Army, who would always be there around, listen to you, pamper you, respect your views, always get your intentions right, a shoulder to cry on, get into action on demand(at work), the kind of friends you take for granted and boss over too, sometimes. (I know they are happy and safe with the Lord!)

And, the rough phase of fear of death took over me since the Virus broke out. Hearing the news about the death of medical professionals every next hour. Not being able to see my papa for days (weeks and months, actually), sleepless nights worrying if he is OK! And, realizing how weak and timid I am.

Then the idea of settling down being forced onto your mind, and it turning out to be actually very unsettling. In a short period, you go on a loooong ride, fly high, travelling to places (across the globe or must have been to different planets) mentally, but sans consensus ad idem.

Wandered across the universe and here I am at the same old spot, the same point where I started at...the same pillar in the Church I sat by all my childhood, the same me all dolled up, with makeup in place and the beautiful dress, nothing seems changed outwardly, but not the same funny, chirpy, confident, be all smiles, twinkling, fluttering around the place kind of person. I find myself a different person from who I really am.

So tired! Exhausted would be a better word. Lord, I need a place to rest, to unwind…far away from judgmental looks, pointing fingers and accusations. Just help me break away from this spell! Or curse, if that fits right. This, poured out from my heart.

Voila!

Here’s what Lord promised, “The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.” Deuteronomy 33:”27

It’s a promise of comfort and of permanence. His unfailing, everlasting love and He being my refuge, the place where I can rest, are what He all willingly gives and will not be taken away from me. Happy tears rolled out of my eyes. Mascara tears, but it is OK!

It’s indeed a Happy, Happy New Year, friends.